It has been awhile since I updated and that’s probably because I have been meaning to (and avoiding) writing this entry. I’m not really sure how to write this, so I guess I should just dive right in. Allen and I have always wanted at least two children. Once we began suspecting Autism with Nick, we took a step back and reconsidered our options. We were worried that a second child would take time away from Nick and stall his progress in therapy. Mostly we were terrified that another boy might mean another child with Autism. We knew the odds of another boy were very high for us because there have been no women born on Allen’s fathers side of the family in over 90 years! We weighed the risks and decided that we wanted another child no matter what. If we had another child with Autism, we would be in love just the same. Also, research shows that siblings are generally a good thing for kids with Autism. So, by the time Nick was officially diagnosed at just over two years old, I was several months pregnant with Max.
Now, the whole time I was pregnant, people asked if I had concerns that I might have another child with Autism…..YES! People asked even more so after we found out we were having another boy. Once Max was born, I started getting the question more often. “Do you notice any signs? Do you have any concerns?” I tried really hard not to scrutinize everything Max did and not to compare him to other kids his age. Once he got a little older, we noticed that he had great eye contact and he smiled or giggled appropriately. (Both things that Nick didn’t do as a baby) We thought we were safe and breathed collective sighs of relief.
Although I assured everyone who asked that Max probably did not have Autism, the truth is…..I was worried. Yes, he made eye contact, smiled, met his milestones and played appropriately with toys. BUT….he rarely ever babbled and at 17 months old, he had maybe one spoken word. I tried sign language with him and finally got him to sign “more.” He refused to do any other signs or repeat any words I asked him to say. I tried to stay calm and give him some more time. One day, Allen asked me, “Isn’t this around the age we first had Nick evaluated.” I sadly told him that Nick was EXACTLY 17 months old when we called ITS to come evaluate him. We made a joint decision to again call Infant and Toddler Services for an evaluation. Several weeks later, a team showed up to determine if Max met criteria for any type of therapy. It was determined that he was at least 25% delayed with his speech, but that he would probably only need a few sessions of speech therapy to get him caught up. The general consensus was that we should not worry about Autism (Yeah….where have I heard that before?) and that Max probably didn’t talk on schedule due to his older brother’s speech delays.
We started our allotted four sessions of Speech Therapy with one of Nick’s former therapists. Now, approximately 4-5 months later, we are still receiving therapy through ITS. Max is refusing to use his sign language AT ALL. He does say a few words, “mama, dada and NO” but not much else. When you ask him to repeat a word, Max generally says the same thing every time, “Da.” It’s too early to say whether he is just a late talker, has some type of speech impediment or even has Autism. Recently, Max started doing a fair amount of “tip toe walking” which made my heart sink. Walking on tip toes is a very, very common sensory issue in kids with Autism. We discussed it with his Speech Therapist and they are having an Occupational Therapist come out for an evaluation, “Just to put our minds at ease.” Allen and I have toyed with the idea of making an appointment with the developmental pediatrician, but we are holding off on that for now.
I know that Max is extremely stubborn and I have the distinct feeling that he is pulling a huge trick on his Mommy and Daddy, but I’m still scared. I’m grateful that he has started babbling long strings of nonsense, but shocked at the very few number of words he actually says. It doesn’t help that I know a ton of people with boys his age and I can’t help but compare them. Max is well behind other kids his age as far as his speech goes. I can only hope and pray that he is just a late talker, but the truth is that life would be very difficult with two special needs kiddos. I just continue to think positive, take deep breaths and remind myself that I love Max no matter what and that I will do everything in my power to be his biggest advocate if and when he ever needs me.
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