One Fine Day

Today was the big day! We went to the Sprint Center to have a meet and greet with Elmo before the Sesame Street Live show. Before we left the house, I told Nick what we were doing and asked if he wanted to meet Elmo.....his immediate response, "No." We stopped by Burger King on the way there to pick up some GFCF French Fries for the boys. I said, "does anyone want french fries?" I heard Nick mutter something from the backseat, but couldn't understand what he said. I said, "I can't hear you....you Do want fries or you Don't?" Nick answered, "I DO!" LOL We picked up the french fries and headed out for our adventure.

We got to the Sprint Center at about 12:15 even though we weren't supposed to be there until 12:40. We showed our meet and greet letter to the doorman and were escorted back to a conference room where several other families were waiting. Almost right away, Grover and The Count came out for a visit. Nick and Max took pictures with them, but were not terribly excited. We were told that Elmo was NOT coming out for the meet and greet...WTH? We thought we had wasted a good portion of the day, even had daddy take off work to come with us....for Grover and The Count? Anyway, we started looking at our letter and it said to meet at the soundboard at 12:40. It was only 12:30 and we were pretty sure that we had NOT been at the soundboard when we met Grover and The Count. We started asking around with the employees and finally were told that we had been taken to the wrong meet and greet. We were going to a "special" meet and greet with only one other family! So, we were finally taken to the soundboard where we met with an employee and were escorted to another area of the building. It wasn't long before we saw Elmo and The Count rounding the corner! (Big Bird tried to come, but he was too tall to fit down the hallway!) Nick saw Elmo and says, "Elmo?" He gave Elmo hugs and kisses, high fives and sat in his lap. He needed a little encouragement, but he wasn't scared and was about as excited as he gets! Max was not real sure what to think about Elmo, but he wasn't afraid either.....just a little tentative. We took lots of pictures, said our good-byes and were escorted back into the theater. We explained that we did not have tickets and that Nick probably wouldn't be able to make it through any amount of the show anyway. We were told that they could find us some seats and we could see if Nick would be able to stay.

While we were waiting to be escorted to some seats, the lights dimmed and the show began! Nick was curious and began edging closer to the stage. He covered his ears, but didn't scream or try to run away! We agreed to be led to some seats to see how it would go. We all sat down and Nick and Max became entranced by the show! Allen and I just looked at each other in shock! This was our child who became inconsolably upset at the same show, just one year ago? We both got a little choked up and excited at the same time. We took tons of pictures of Nick calmly watching the show, just to prove it actually happened. We made it to intermission and I called work to make sure someone would cover for me so I could stay for the rest of the show. Nick got cotton candy and a furry Elmo hat for being such a big boy!

It was a little rough for awhile after we sat back down for the second half of the show. Nick was restless and he did start screaming and throwing a tantrum. He pulled on my arm and said, "bye, bye." I just ignored that little request and pointed out that Cookie Monster was on stage. He became distracted and got wrapped back up in the show. Max was dancing, stomping his feet and clapping with the audience.....what a cutie! Both boys did a great job and we finished out the rest of the show with just some minor restlessness. At one point we saw a parent who had to carry a screaming child out of the theater. I was shocked as I thought to myself that for once, it wasn't my child who caused the disruption!

On the ride home, I turned around and asked Nick, "did you have fun meeting Elmo and watching the show?" His response? "Happy......Happy." Me too, Nick.....me too :)

We get to meet a STAR!

I have to share some VERY exciting news that we just received today! First though, I need to share a little back story so everyone understands our excitement. Last year, around Nick's birthday, we realized that "Elmo Live" was coming to perform in Topeka. At the time, Nick was IN LOVE with Elmo and we just knew he would be SO excited to see the performance. We paid $100 for 3 tickets, took the night off work, drove an hour to Topeka, and dropped Max of at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Grandma and Grandpa gave Nick an envelope with a $20 bill and instructions to spend it on something ridiculous that he really wanted. We were so excited to see the look on Nick's face when he realized that we were watching Elmo!! We got to the theater and bought Nick a t-shirt and a $15 Sesame Street flashlight thing that he had to have. We took our seats (right up in front) and ate licorice while we waited for the show to begin. The lights dimmed, music played, Elmo made his appearance and Nick.....well......Nick began screaming at the top of his lungs. He looked frantic and tried to get out of his seat and run out of the theater. I kept telling him, "look, it's just Elmo!" I really thought that he would calm down once he realized that he was seeing his hero in person, but he didn't. We moved to the very far back of the theater in hopes that his screaming would stop upsetting the other kids and that it would be quieter. Well...they had that damn music blasting so loud through speakers everywhere that it even made me want to cover my ears. We went outside of the theater to try and get Nick to calm down. As soon as we went back inside, the screaming began again. I tried showing Nick how to cover his ears and a super nice usher went and got some earplugs for us to try. Nothing worked :( Nick was so hysterical that people began moving out of our section and complaining to the usher. They made some comments that hurt my feelings so badly. We finally decided that we should leave if Nick wasn't able to enjoy the show. I asked the nice usher if there was a chance that we could meet Elmo after the show if we hung around outside. She told us that the cast left immediately afterwards to drive to another city. As soon as we left the building, I broke down in tears. I cried the whole way home.....mostly because I was SO unprepared for the reaction that Nick had. I have refused to even attempt to take him to any similar shows and told Allen that we will NOT be going to Disney World until Nick can handle the shows. Which brings me to today's exciting news.....

After the unfortunate Elmo Live experience, I sent an e-mail to the company that puts on the shows. I told them what happened, asked if Nick could meet the characters the next time they are in town and suggested they have a "sensory sensitive" showing in the future. I got some stupid form e-mail back that told me they do not have sensory showings. Jerks. I recently mentioned to Allen that Sesame Street Live is going to be at the Sprint Center this week and that there was no way in hell we were going...LOL. He didn't mention it to me, but my thoughtful husband sent another e-mail to the performance company explaining what had happened before and asking if there was a chance Nick might be able to meet the characters. Well....today he got a response telling us to be there at 12:40 on Sunday for a Meet and Greet with the characters!!!! They said that they can guarantee Elmo will be there and at least 2 other characters also! We can bring 4 people so we are trying to get someone to cover for Allen at work and think we will take Max also! I still don't think Nick is ready to deal with all the sensory issues involved in watching the performance, but he will be so happy to meet the characters!! I can't wait to see what he does!

Shear Madness

As a mom, there is one big piece of advice that I pass on to other parents. Don't ever fight a battle that you can't win! Today, I waited Nick out and (huge sigh of relief here) won a major battle in the war on potty training. I told him that it was time to go potty and he immediately started screaming and throwing a fit. I ended up carrying him into the bathroom and putting him on the potty. He tried to get down right away and I just kept putting him on the potty and saying, "no, you need to go potty." He thrashed around, fell off the potty and screamed his little head off. I finally told him, "you cannot get off the potty until you go pee pee." I'll tell you what...this was really hard for me because it was time to eat dinner and we were trying to get out the door to run some errands. Allen and I ended up sitting with Nick for a good 15 minutes before he finally succumbed and went potty. We cheered like crazy and let him have some pepperoni (his new favorite) as a treat. Later in the evening, Nick jumped right up on the potty and went pee without any fight! He stayed on the potty and even pooped a little bit. Yay Nick!!!!

We also had another GIANT success with Nick tonight. We took Max to get his first ever haircut today. We went to a place in Olathe called Shear Madness.....it's a place for kids only. They have tv's that play cartoons in front of each station. They have plastic cars that kids can sit in and pretend to drive while they are getting their hair cut. We figured it would be a cute place for Max to get his first haircut at. So, I make sure that Nick takes notice while Max is getting his hair cut. I also say things like, "maybe one day you can be a big boy and let them cut your hair!"

I should mention that Nick has really huge issues with having his hair cut. He screams and thrashes around and often gets so upset that he vomits :( We have had to resort to cutting his hair at home with clippers. Allen has to hold Nick on his lap and restrain him while I cut his hair. Nick screams at the top of his lungs and cries and thrashes around until he is all sweaty. He tells us, "all done, all done, all done" over and over. As a result, Nick's haircuts are few and far between. We wait until he is really shaggy before finally resolving that we will have to do it again. Grandpa has helped a couple times, but even he refuses to trim Nick's sideburns because it upsets him too much. Hair cutting sessions usually end with tears on the part of both Nick and Mommy :(

Sooooo......hence the big buildup to the story that Nick ALLOWED SOMEONE TO CUT HIS HAIR!!! We told the hairdresser that Nick has Autism and freaks out when someone tries to cut his hair. She said they have lots of kids with Autism come into the shop and she'd give it a try!! So, we had Nick get up into the car and she showed him the clippers (which were super quiet). She let him hold them and pretended to tickle him with them. Then she immediately trimmed his side burns and the back of his neck. She proceeded to wet down his hair (which he did NOT care for) and trimmed the rest of his hair up with scissors. I won't lie and say that it was completely without incident, but what a change from the norm!! Nick did whimper a little and try to pull his head away from the stylist. He also let out a few really loud yells, but he generally handled the whole thing really well! We plan to make another appointment with the same hairdresser in the future. She told us if we mention that Nick has Autism, they will allot her some extra time to work with him. Nick was super excited that he was awarded a sucker for being such a good boy and we went right over to grandpa and grandma's house to show off the new haircuts!!

Potty Training Wars

First of all...let me just say that I am SO tired of potty training Nick. We started familiarizing him with the potty when he was about 2 years old....and now he is 4.....sigh. Our battles with potty training have had their ups and downs and lately it seems like Nick is regressing. He used to be willing to sit on the potty and read a book or blow bubbles until he either went potty or we told him it was o.k. to get off. Then, he started to where he wanted to get off the potty as soon as possible, so he would tinkle just enough to make us happy. Of course, he usually also peed in his pull up in between trips to the bathroom as well. On top of all this, he was having diarrhea anywhere from 4-6 times a day which made potty training even more difficult. We finally have the diarrhea under control for the most part, but not the potty training. We limit Nick's fluid intake to about 35 ounces a day and he takes 2T of Imodium twice a day to control the diarrhea.

Anyway, for awhile now, Nick has been battling the trips to the bathroom. He throws himself on the floor and screams when we tell him it's time to go potty. I have resorted to carrying or dragging him into the bathroom kicking and screaming the whole way. His new trick now is to either refuse to pee or immediately jump off the pot or pretend to "fall" off the potty. He is fairly convincing as he did get Grandpa to go for it the other day :) Nick is also terrified to go into public restrooms. I think it is because he is afraid of the automatic flusher. I have showed him numerous times that they don't all have automatic flushers or that I can cover it up, but he still freaks out. It's not even worth attempting to get him into a public bathroom anymore. Have you ever tried to force a 43lb child into a room they don't want to enter? It's not as easy as just picking them up! I'm afraid someone will think I'm trying to kidnap him or something!

Right now it feels like Nick is never going to get potty trained. I understand that for some kids with Autism, potty training is just never going to happen. I have always thought that Nick would be able to be potty trained and I am certainly not going to give up. Sometimes I still think he knows exactly what is going on and is just playing a big game with us. Other times, it really feels like he doesn't get "it." I for sure do not think that he is able to tell when he has to go pee and that he doesn't really realize that he should "hold it." There is some hope lately though.....about 3 times in the last week, he has tried to tell us that he has to poop. The first time, he grabbed my hand, looked me directly in the eyes and said, "we go." At first I thought he wanted to leave because we were at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Then it suddenly hit me that he wanted to go to the BATHROOM!! We rushed him in there and he farted a couple times and looked like he was concentrating awful hard...lol. He sat on the potty for a long time and seemed like he was trying to do something. In the end though, he didn't go and ended up going in his pants about 15 minutes later. The other two times he said, "we go" after he had already gone in his pants.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up on potty training and Nick does sometimes win the battles, but I WILL NOT let him win the War! Nick will end up potty trained if it kills me! LOL Honestly, if I didn't think he could do it, I wouldn't push him so hard. I am perfectly o.k. if he is never able to potty train, but I KNOW that he has the ability to do it. I will push him to the brink to meet his abilities throughout his life. He may not always like me for it, but I guarantee that one day he will thank me for it.

The Hot Dog diet

I continue to be genuinely amazed with the progress Nick is making this year. He brought tears to my eyes a couple different times today. First of all, we were picking up the play room and he found a picture book that I made for him while he was in therapy through ITS. I remember taking pictures around the house of items that we thought Nick was familiar enough with the identify. The pictures were of a dog, slide, Elmo, cup, book, banana and ball. I remember how excited we were when we would show him two pictures and ask, "which one is Elmo?" and he would point to the right picture. Today, he brings me the book, points to the dog and says, "PUPPY!" I agreed that it was a puppy and started asking him to name the rest of the pictures. He names, Elmo, slide, ball and banana....and then I point to the book and ask him "what is that?" He says, "Lion, ROOOOAR!" I'm getting ready to call him crazy and correct him when I realize that there is, in fact a lion on the front of the book :) Such a smart boy!

Later on, Nick brings up a toy train, hooks all the cars together and starts pushing it around. He puts a stuffed bear in the conductor's seat. I am chuckling and proud of his pretend play when I hear him say, "choo, choo, all aboard!" I know that none of this seems like a big deal to people with typically developing kiddos, but it's such a big thing for us. We spent a year and a half in therapy with ITS teaching Nick how to play with toys. When he first started in therapy, he would mostly play with toys in one of three ways. #1, if it is a car he will turn it over and play with the wheels or generally try to figure out how it works or how it is put together. (He's very smart and analytical in this way....we used to call him our little engineer). #2, He would stack toys on top of each other.....whether they were meant to be stacked or not. #3, He would fill a bucket or whatever up with toys and dump it into another container, over and over and over. So...there were many agonizing hours of not allowing Nick to do these things and teaching him the correct way to play. To make a long story short, this is why we are so excited when we see Nick engaging in pretend play such as putting a teddy bear in the conductor's car of a train and driving it around while saying, "choo choo."

I should also mention another source of excitement from today. I am crossing my fingers that the so-called "Hot Dog diet" may be coming to an end. We started Nick on the GFCF diet in June 2009 which does not give him a ton of food choices for meals. So began, the "Hot Dog diet." There are several brands of hot dogs which are GFCFSF (Gluten, Casein and Soy free) which is the original diet we started with. Nick ate hot dogs every day....for breakfast and lunch. We made every effort to cook special meals that he was able to eat. We were able to make pizza, pasta, chicken, quesadillas and even "macaroni and no cheese." For some reason, Nick just prefers the hot dogs and asks for them ALL THE TIME.....even asks for them at breakfast fairly often. Anyway, we have quite the stockpile of hot dogs and while we do encourage him to eat other stuff; we tend to fall back on them pretty often. So, imagine my shock when I asked Nick whether he wanted chicken or hot dogs for lunch and he responded, "chicken." You could've knocked me over with a feather!! Here's hoping that the hot dog diet has finally run it's course....but not holding my breath :)

Understanding Sensory Stuff and my Nick, The Big Dog!

Sorry no updates lately....I have been super busy at home and work lately! So, we are grateful that Nick actually made it to school every day last week and did not throw up at all! His G.I. specialist had us double his Prevacid dose which seems to have solved the problem! For some reason Nick has been pretty insistent about wearing some type of hat to school every day this week. The first day it was the huge Dr. Seuss looking hat; the second day was a Finding Nemo ball cap; third day was his winter hat with the silly ear flaps and the last day was his Santa hat, which he also slept in the night before! For a long time he insisted on wearing a bicycle helmet all day at school. Not sure exactly if this is a sensory issue or if it's just a phase. If it is a sensory problem, then at least he's solving it in an appropriate way! I always had a hard time understanding exactly how sensory issues affect these kiddos until I finally heard it explained like this.......kids with sensory problems are actually physically affected by stuff. For instance, something that is a loud noise to us might feel like someone is poking them inside their ear with a sharp pin. Once I understood that sensory problems can affect kids in a painful way, I became a lot more understanding. I remember one time when Nick's pediatrician was trying to look in his ears with her little tool thing. Nick was screaming hysterically and thrashing and we were physically restraining him. She finally got frustrated and says, "Nick, calm down...it's not that big of a deal!" I corrected her real quick on that and told her, "well, if you had sensory problems and it was painful to you, then it might be a real big deal!" She got real quiet after that :)

Another interesting thing that Nick has been doing lately is asking to go to Monkey Bizness. It's a place in a nearby local mall that has inflatable slides, obstacle courses and jumping house type things. When we go there, Nick is in HEAVEN!! For him it's a sensory wonderland...LOL. We take him there when he gets antsy and just let him play until his little heart is content and he's exhausted. So......he used to think whenever we asked him if he wanted to play that we were going to Monkey Bizness. Now, he understands the name of the place and he has been saying, "Monkey?" for the past several days. Finally, on Wednesday, his daddy told him that he would take him to Monkey Bizness on Thursday. I don't think he really expected to have to live up to the promise. You better believe that one of the first things out of Nick's mouth on Thursday morning was "Monkey?" LOL. I promised him a visit after school and called daddy at work to tell him that Nick was calling his bluff!! Sure enough, daddy and grandpa took Nick and Max to Monkey Bizness for over an hour that night. I'm so proud of Nick for making requests and understanding the answer!

Nick has also astounded me this week by pouring his own milk at lunch and dinner time. He said, "want milk" at dinner the other night and grabbed it as soon as I opened the fridge. He walked right over to the table and poured it into his glass like a big dog! No spilling at all! I was so impressed...not sure if they have been working on this in school or if he just decided to do it. Of course, he drinks rice milk, so it's a small carton, but I was still very proud. We have finally, definitively switched him over from sippy cups to regular cups! He used to cry, throw a fit and refuse to even try to drink from an open cup! Now he drinks from one all the time and rarely ever has spills. We are working on putting him to bed without a sippy cup of water. We figure this should help with potty training also. Right now he is going without a cup of water at bedtime about 75% of the time. He does still sometimes ask, "drink?" but we are slowly getting there. Yay for progress!

Giant Victories

Today was rather uneventful in the Anderson household, which is a very rare thing! Is it wrong that I was super excited that Nick finally went back to school today after Christmas break, many snow days and some sick days? He was pretty excited to see his cupcake holder going into his backpack!! Today was a friend's birthday in his class and because Nick is on the GFCF diet, we make special cupcakes so he can partake in treat time with the rest of the class.

Allen, Max and I went car shopping and also purchased a treadmill, so we can save some money by canceling our gym membership. Max and I hauled butt home to get Nick off the bus by 2:30. I was tickled to see Nick get off the bus in his favorite Spongebob shirt and Dr. Seuss style hat!! Apparently, wearing things on his head is Nick's new "thing." Over the last several weeks, he has become partial to a bicycle helmet, baseball cap, cold weather hat with earflaps and now this Dr. Seuss type enormous hat. He's so silly!!! Unfortunately, he had a rather nasty diarrhea poop blowout at school today.....so, sorry Miss Amy!! He's taking his Immodium again and hopefully we can get that under control pretty soon. It was kinda nice that someone else had to deal with the nasty poop for a change :)

Later this evening while I was out running errands, I called home and asked Allen to put Nick on the phone with me. Nick got on and said clear as day, "I broke it" and then handed the phone back to daddy...LOL. We're still not sure what he was talking about...it's a new phrase he has learned and sometimes uses it appropriately, but at other times, not so much. He did get back on the phone and say, "Hi Mommy" and "I love you," with a little coaching from his daddy of course.

Then, tonight as he was taking his medicine before bedtime, he saw us pull the Immodium off the shelf. It tastes disgusting, so he immediately said, "drink?" Daddy didn't hear his request, so Nick said much louder, "I want milk." Good asking and using multiple word phrases!!! I was so excited :) As I tucked him into bed, I asked him what color his socks were...."blue." Nick has come so far from where he once was....which was generally non verbal, with only a couple words in sign language and repeating some verbal prompts. I am so excited to hear him identify colors, letters and say spontaneous words or spontaneous requests. During dinner he went to the refrigerator and opened the door. I thought I heard him say juice, so I got it out and went looking for his cup. He immediately said, "NO!" and went back, opened the fridge and pointed at grapes! Yay for Nick! It wasn't that long ago that he would have started screaming and crying and throwing himself on the floor because he was so frustrated that he couldn't tell us what he wanted! This incident may have had me and Nick BOTH in tears at that time. We have to always remember to be grateful because his tiny steps are really GIANT VICTORIES!!!

A life full of poop

As my BFF will tell you, my life is filled with poop and today was no exception. I heard Nick awake this morning and went into his room to get him dressed. I immediately smelled something suspicious and saw a HUGE, brown stain on his sheets. I thought it was vomit and immediately accused Allen of forgetting to give him Prevacid last night. Of course, this happens to be the one time it wasn't his fault...LOL! Sorry Allen! I stripped Nick's bed, which happened to include a large Pillow Pal that was also affected....ewww!

After this is done, I start to undress Nick while marveling the whole time that he has managed not to puke on himself! Boy, did I get a surprise when I pulled down his pants! I had to lay Nick on a towel to get him cleaned up and he screamed the whole time. No time for a bath, so I wiped home down really good and got him dressed. This is not what I would call a good start to my 12 hour workday!

I think most families who have kids with Autism have really disgusting poop stories. It's kind of a rite of passage, I guess. Many, many kids with Autism also have a lot of digestive problems. They get constipated or have diarrhea or have acid reflux issues. Nick takes Immodium and Prevacid twice a day to help with these issues. He eats a Gluten Free, Casein Free diet which seems to help also. More on all of that later :)

Mama Bear-Part II

Nick was around 22 months old when we were finally able to get in on a cancellation to see Dr. Hoffman, the Developmental Pediatrician. He spent a couple hours with Nick during which he asked us lots of questions and evaluated Nick with different tests. Allen was eager to show the Dr. that Nick was a "normal" child. His views on Nick's behavior were very far from the actuality of the situation. As an example, he told the Dr. that Nick responded to his name about 80% of the time. I told the Dr. that I thought it was more like 10-20%. I noticed the Dr. say Nick's name over and over during the evaluation....Nick turned his head in response once or twice.

At the end of the evaluation, the Dr. told us that he does not diagnose children who are younger than 2 years old. He advised us to come for a return visit in several months, but told us that we should expect a diagnosis of Autism unless something drastically changed. I saw the shocked look on Allen's face....we left the office feeling numb. We cried and talked on the whole drive back from the doctor's office. My mom and my best friend called as Allen dropped me off at work....they knew it was an important day. I could barely manage to tell them what the doctor said....I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I remember my mom's exact words were, "I'm sorry sister" and Ellee said, "I guess your mother's intuition was right."

Nick continued therapy with his Speech therapist, ECSE and was eventually also given an Occupational therapist to work on his sensory issues. We returned to Dr. Hoffman when Nick was about 27 months old. He was diagnosed with Autism PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Delay-Not Otherwise Specified). It's mainly the catch all for, "your child is on the Autism spectrum and we don't know why." At this time, I was pregnant with what would become our youngest child, Max. We were glad to hear that siblings are generally good for kids with Autism, but frightened that another boy might also be affected. Allen and I set up a therapy room, bought lots of therapy toys, and endured various therapists going in and out of our home 2-3 times a week for the next year and a half.

Nick entered the school district in Nov. 2008 and was placed in an Early Childhood Preschool class. This classroom had several peer models as well as other children who were delayed for various reasons. Nick was subsequently placed for summer school and the 2009 school year in the Communications Preschool Class in his school district. This is a class with 1:1 support, a teacher who has a very strong background in Autism and a Master's Degree in Early Childhood Special Education and the class is focused on meeting the kid's sensory needs and teaching them in ways that make sense for Autism. Nick has really flourished in this classroom and is doing things that at times, I was afraid he might never do. This blog is meant to give some insight into the day to day life of a mom who is trying to survive raising two little boys, one with Autism.

Happy

There have yet to be any vomiting or diarrhea issues with Nick or Max today. Now, Allen is another story, but I figure he can take care of himself :)

After I laid Max down for a nap, I asked Nick if he wanted to go out and play in the snow. He got pretty excited and kept saying, "play, play?" I reassured him that we really were going to go outside and play as I dressed him in his boots and snow pants. As soon as we got outside, Nick was in heaven! He played while I shoveled and I was impressed with his very appropriate snow play! He jumped into snow piles, threw snow, made snow angels and slid on his butt down a hill of snow. I was most impressed with the snow angels and the sliding because I know he remembered doing that in school last week!! Most families probably don't understand the excitement that comes from a kid playing like he should in the snow, but it reminds me of how far Nick has come these last few years :) I especially smiled when he did the snow angels and when I asked him to show me how he goes down the snow "slide." He got a big grin on his face, ran over to the hill, went down the slide screaming "WHEEEE" the whole time. He looked to me for confirmation that he had done a good job. What a very small thing that gives me lots of hope for his future.

Nick and I had a blissful 45 minutes in the snow before we had to go inside so I could get ready for work. He ignored me when I told him we were all done playing and it was time to go inside. Very strategic move there Nick :) I had to drag him inside kicking and screaming the whole way. My reward was that after we got inside, undressed and warm, Nick looked me in the eyes and said one word that always melts my heart..."happy." :)

It's introduce mommy to all your bodily fluids day!

It is now 11:00 p.m on what proved to be one of the one of the most disgusting days I can remember in a long time. Allen and I had planned to go car shopping before I had to go to work at 3:00 p.m. Instead, I woke up to find him in the bathroom....he had been up and vomiting throughout the night. Apparently I slept through the entire thing :) So, I got Nick up and dressed and finally decided I better go check on Max. Walked into his room only to be greeted by the unmistakable stench of barf. Yup....Max had vomit all over himself and all over the crib....disgusting! Stripped him down and put him in the tub where he vomited 3 more times. The poor baby just looked so sad and pathetic and confused about what was wrong.

About this time, I figure Grandma isn't going to want to watch a sick little boy and daddy is too sick, so I call and let work know that I won't be there. So begins the day of hell! I clean Max up and dress him and bring Nick into his room to change his overnight diaper. Max promptly barfs on the floor of Nicks room. Clothing change #2 and another barf cleanup commence. The rest of the days progresses uneventfully with Nick and I making a trip to Price Chopper for Sprite and Gatorade reinforcements at some point. Allen sleeps for most of the day and Max eventually lays down for a nap. Just as I start to relax, I catch another unmistakable odor coming from Nick. Yup.....diahrrea....and it goes through his pull up and his pants. Commence another cleanup and clothing change. We end up going through another clothing change, clean up and a BATH for Nick after he has some disgustingly smelly diarrhea that looks like water and gets it all over him. He screams as I clean him up because his poor little body is so raw.

Later on after Max is up from his nap, everyone is clean, dressed in non-odoriferous clothing and hanging out watching cartoons. Max falls asleep while laying on me and Nick crashes in the recliner. I cannot move for a full 2 hours out of fear of waking one of them up. After a couple hours, the phone rings and I start upstairs to try and get to it. Max wakes up and immediately barfs all over himself and all down me. I don't make it to the phone and hold him over the sink and later the toilet while he finishes throwing up. (I check the caller ID to see if it was important...yup....it was McDonald's....an obvious wrong number.) I strip off Max's clothes and my shirt and go downstairs to get them in the washer. On the way down, I step on the hardwood landing in my socked feet....directly into a huge pool of dog pee!!! At this point I am close to crying....and I get to the washer and open it only to find that Allen has crammed every item of Max's bedding into it. He apparently didn't wash it out, so there are chunks everywhere....sigh. Those are the high points or rather the low points of my "day off." Is it wrong that all I can think about is going back to work or sending Nick back to school on Monday? It also crosses my mind more than once that at least they should all be well by the time I get sick. Here's hoping for a vomit and diarrhea free and non-gag inducing tomorrow!

Mama Bear

How does anyone become involved in various causes? The short answer is....they have a loved one affected by the disease or disorder. When I was pregnant with our first child (Nicholas), I prayed only for his health and happiness. When he was born, I remember whispering to him that it didn't matter to me if he grew up to be the President or a Garbage Man. I told him that whatever he did, he should do it well and that he should be a good man and not a criminal :)

For almost the first year and a half of his life, Nick was a typical baby and toddler. He met all his milestones and was generally a happy, healthy and loving little boy. When Nick was 17 months old, I first began suspecting that something was a little different about him. I noticed that he never really babbled, that he only said one word, "dada", that he rarely responded to his name and hardly ever made eye contact. My heart started sinking and I mentioned it to my husband, my mother, my best friend and various other people with child rearing experience. Every single one of them told me that it was too early to worry, that Nick is super smart, he is a boy so he will talk later and that I had nothing to worry about. I told his Pediatrician my concerns and asked if we should worry about Autism. She gave me a checklist of the symptoms of Autism and a referral to Infant and Toddler Services aka ITS.

Nick was about 17 months old when he was evaluated by 3 people with ITS. I was told that he was at least 25% behind his peers in several areas and that he would qualify for speech therapy and therapy with an Early Childhood Special Education teacher. As the evaluators were leaving, I asked one of them (Angie) if she thought there was any concern for Autism. She responded with, "do you think you should be concerned about Autism?" I remember being so pissed off that she wouldn't give me a direct answer and telling Allen that I hoped she wouldn't be our therapist. (In fact, she became Nick's ECSE teacher for the next year and a half and I cried when we had our last therapy day with her, but I digress.) So, Nick began seeing his speech therapist and ECSE teacher once a week after that. I decided to call a Developmental Pediatrician and get Nick an appointment to be evaluated by someone who would be able to diagnose Autism or any other developmental disorder.

I should say that this time in our life was not easy on our marriage. I became a momma bear, willing to knock down anyone in the way of helping my child. My husband, Allen was convinced that we really didn't need to explore therapy and/or any type of diagnosis for Nick. We talked about it so often until there was nothing left to talk about. I finally laid down the ultimatum....either get on board or get out. There was no room in my life for someone who didn't want to do everything they could to find an answer. The more I researched Autism, the more convinced I became. Looking back, maybe I should have been more gentle or more understanding, but I could only see straight ahead. I think it's hard for father's when they realize that their son may not be exactly the kind of son that they expected. It all worked out for the best and I'll say that Allen made the right decision :) We called the Developmental Pediatrician and were told that we couldn't get an appointment for 6 months...and so.....the therapy and the waiting began.