Mama Bear

How does anyone become involved in various causes? The short answer is....they have a loved one affected by the disease or disorder. When I was pregnant with our first child (Nicholas), I prayed only for his health and happiness. When he was born, I remember whispering to him that it didn't matter to me if he grew up to be the President or a Garbage Man. I told him that whatever he did, he should do it well and that he should be a good man and not a criminal :)

For almost the first year and a half of his life, Nick was a typical baby and toddler. He met all his milestones and was generally a happy, healthy and loving little boy. When Nick was 17 months old, I first began suspecting that something was a little different about him. I noticed that he never really babbled, that he only said one word, "dada", that he rarely responded to his name and hardly ever made eye contact. My heart started sinking and I mentioned it to my husband, my mother, my best friend and various other people with child rearing experience. Every single one of them told me that it was too early to worry, that Nick is super smart, he is a boy so he will talk later and that I had nothing to worry about. I told his Pediatrician my concerns and asked if we should worry about Autism. She gave me a checklist of the symptoms of Autism and a referral to Infant and Toddler Services aka ITS.

Nick was about 17 months old when he was evaluated by 3 people with ITS. I was told that he was at least 25% behind his peers in several areas and that he would qualify for speech therapy and therapy with an Early Childhood Special Education teacher. As the evaluators were leaving, I asked one of them (Angie) if she thought there was any concern for Autism. She responded with, "do you think you should be concerned about Autism?" I remember being so pissed off that she wouldn't give me a direct answer and telling Allen that I hoped she wouldn't be our therapist. (In fact, she became Nick's ECSE teacher for the next year and a half and I cried when we had our last therapy day with her, but I digress.) So, Nick began seeing his speech therapist and ECSE teacher once a week after that. I decided to call a Developmental Pediatrician and get Nick an appointment to be evaluated by someone who would be able to diagnose Autism or any other developmental disorder.

I should say that this time in our life was not easy on our marriage. I became a momma bear, willing to knock down anyone in the way of helping my child. My husband, Allen was convinced that we really didn't need to explore therapy and/or any type of diagnosis for Nick. We talked about it so often until there was nothing left to talk about. I finally laid down the ultimatum....either get on board or get out. There was no room in my life for someone who didn't want to do everything they could to find an answer. The more I researched Autism, the more convinced I became. Looking back, maybe I should have been more gentle or more understanding, but I could only see straight ahead. I think it's hard for father's when they realize that their son may not be exactly the kind of son that they expected. It all worked out for the best and I'll say that Allen made the right decision :) We called the Developmental Pediatrician and were told that we couldn't get an appointment for 6 months...and so.....the therapy and the waiting began.